exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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