It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Randomize
