Kiss
Puke
from now on my penis is your penis
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
the liver wants what the liver wants
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize