Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
