Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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