I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
