no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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