Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
