can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize