Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
