on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
