where am i from again
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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