if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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