What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
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