we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
