I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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