New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
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