she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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