There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
