my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
