so explain again why im purple
no
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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