ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
