thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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