Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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