I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
