WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
