God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
