why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
well you can't waste a boner
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
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Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
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You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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