you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Randomize
