is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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