what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
