Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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