Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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