I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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