just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
