Got a toothbrush?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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