one might say we're banned from that church
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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