Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
