Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
