the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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