Midget sex pt 2 tonight
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
