Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe in your delicious
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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