Bisexual people are plain selfish.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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