I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm bleeding and have questions
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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