Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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