Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
