but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
