well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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