literally had 100 drinks last night.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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