While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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