Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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