Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
