butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
