What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Randomize
