I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
