I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
