The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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