Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
