the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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