I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
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