I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize