what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
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