I wish I could punch you in the face.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
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